Reviews for I Love Your Cruddy...

So! In truth, I'm coming here right after finishing the manga, and I feel like this will be less of an unbiased review and more of a release of all the emotions this manga made me feel in the brief hours it took to finish. All those who would still read this tirade, this one's for you lol. To begin with, this manga is very well-written. That being said, it takes a special kind of f-ed up to fully appreciate it. I'm no saint and even I have a heck of a mixed bag of emotions concerning it. But if your only criteria in recommendations isthe talent with which it is presented, then have at it, this manga is terrific.

This manga explores sadism, masochism, and machiavellianism in a way that is *incredibly disturbing*. On top of that, it's a bundle of backstabbing, stalking, possessiveness far beyond the line of simple 'love', and depression and self-harm that gets worse and worse and worse, better again for a brief moment, just to lure you back in, and then even worse. I don't want to click this little button for a spoiler warning, since I also want this review to act as a warning; but without going into too but detail I can say: this manga is *horrifying*.

With all that said: Good manga, 8/10, I am going to go throw up.

I have never reviewed a manga before, and I probably will not do it in the future. I want to give a warning to those who are suffering from severe depression or PTSD due to past relationships or similar experiences such as myself to avoid reading this manga. It is a very dark and depressing story, and there is no warning on the page, which is strange. However, some people in the comment section are warning potential readers, and I wish I had read them before starting the manga. Now, I am going to read some cutesy Yuri to get this out of my mindlol.

Very wholesome series with girls doing cute things. 10/10 That aside. (Writing this as 13 chapters are out) This is one of the actual "true" sadistic mangas. Most tend to be like "oh it's okay because the person is enjoying the treatment." No this manga shows true sadism. The premise itself is disgusting but it isn't badly written. The black-haired protagonist acting as the sadist is a manipulative bitch with the image of an innocent schoolgirl. And I honestly hope they don't go the route to where they try to redeem her, because right now it looks like she's just cold and heartless because that's justher pure nature.

Now the white-haired girl with the role of the victim. What I like about the series so far is that, she really does not enjoy any of the abuse inflicted to her. So it doesn't feel very romanticized. She's just a victim manipulated by her love interest to deal with her sadistic fetishes.

The manga is good at showcasing a disgusting toxic relationship between two highschool girls, if that's your thing. It's also not for the screamish.

First things first. If you know you can't handle more drama than you find in Citrus and its likes, I seriously don't think you should read this. For your own sake and the sake of your mental well-being. I know what I'm talking about. I'm not in a very good place right now, but I still read this. This is by far the darkest yuri I've read. I don't mean to say that it's the darkest ever since I've only read a few hundred yuri works. But it's still safe to say that it is one of the darkest works you could read in this genre.Also, one of the most well-written. I've never read anything as mesmerizing and revolting at the same time. You must know that the author is sadistically precise in delivering her point. She is ruthlessly effective in taking you from a deceptively silly introduction to the final that is Euripedian in its tragicness.

Kitanai Kimi ga Ichiban Kawaii basically has zero positive characters. Almost anyone you see is very likely twisted in a very, very disturbing way. Even the secondary and supporting characters are clinically insane. What you find here is lots of Machiavellian ruthlessness and plotting, sadism, masochism, sexual deviations, bullying, depression, and all other elements one just must find in a manga that is set to destroy the gentle fibers of your soul. That said, don't expect to find your typical yandere here. One of the scariest things in this manga is just how realistic it is. It is only lightly sprinkled with this anime-like grotesque.

The entire plot is a story of a slow-burn, exquisite, masochistically voluptuous descent into self-destruction, degradation, and the darkest depths of despair and madness. It is capable of causing Darren Aronofsky to have a bout of uncontrolled... well, exaltation, let's leave it at that. At the same time, it is almost poetic in its capability of darkening your mind. I've read all five volumes in one go, I was just hypnotized. Devastated, yes. But still, I couldn't stop. That's how well-written it is.

You hate this manga, but you can't abandon it. This is exactly the sort of feeling that drives the main characters here. It's very ironic. Maybe even meta-ironic. You can't help but sympathize with monsters.

So, again, I would totally recommend it. But you must be emotionally prepared.

I can always enjoy a disturbing story, I'm extremely open to that as a concept or exploration, but this didn't feel right in many levels. I have to begin with how much I hated "Kitanai Kimi ga Ichiban Kawaii". Let's begin with how the story fails from the very beginning. A pair of students make a fetish bond where one suffers while the other enjoys the sadistic moment, with ever-increasing stakes as one day they're both caught. WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS AT SCHOOL? LET ME TELL YOU WHY, PLOT. If the story cannot happen without the stupidest of setups, you failed horribly. Sure, they justifywith how "the danger" makes it exciting, well then why is it when they're caught, it's the end of the world? Stupid characters, making terrible decisions; that's the whole story. People wanting the worst out of a situation because "love", "fun", "care", "cute". This plot was terrible, so, why read it? That's on me, I got challenged to finish it, and I don't ever back down.

Okay, so we got a terrible setup, are the characters worth following? No, not really. A bunch of manipulative girls that want fun out of a horrible situation, and they aren't even compelling to watch. From start to finish, idiots, all around stupid people that have so many solutions to every problem at the top of their hat, and they can't for the life of them think about that in particular, leading to a nonsensical ending. Since the beginning of the story focuses on the disturbing sadism, you don't get attached or interested, you just feel gross all over, and that never lets up, but was the beginning necessary to set the stage for the rest? I don't know.

The art is one of those aspects that makes it feel even worse. I've read a very disturbing story in the past, but the art style was in line with what was shown. Presentation is important when showing these themes, and a story with cute drawings and designs, doing so many horrifying things, creates a violent whiplash that makes a reader feel terrible for even looking at this. That aspect created a self-hatred for even considering continuing to the next page or chapter, and I wasn't actually motivated to do it, this was a rage read.

A terrible setup, with a gross presentation that makes one question the idea of just reading it. Did I enjoy my time? Absolutely not, I don't ever wanna remember this story, and I write the review to look back and think how something can get worse. If the writing was good, every aspect could've been forgiven, since now it feels earned to feel wrong, to feel disturbed. The story doesn't justify itself very well and as so, I can say this was a terrible experience but, I appreciate the attempt to tell such a distressing thing.

I feel like a 3.4/10 for this final score, and please, don't read this, enjoy something else.

9/10 Really good manga. If you don't like sad mangas that make you feel bad that don't read this one. I thought this one was beautiful. I love how the romance escalates in this manga, and by no means is it a healthy romance but by God does it get you invested in it. This writer is an expert at making you root for the villain, seriously. My only major compliant is that this manga is a bit too melodramatic towards the end. No spoilers, but the amount of people who are revealed to be crazy by the end ofthe book starts to become difficult to believe lol. You're just like, damn is anyone in this novel sane?

And while I liked the ending, I can't help but feel like it avoids the more obvious gut-puncher ending of having real life catch up with the girls, rather than letting them avoid it.

Which words would I use to describe this manga? Horrifying. Disgusting. Interesting. Awesome. Yes, an enormous contradiction but I'm not lying. This manga is a combination of all of that. But, this is not for everyone. It could be the worst thing ever created to some people or a fantastic story to others (or at least a good one). And why? Because the plot is developed around sadism, toxic relationships, weird fetishes, abuse, bullying and more. And it also shows a perfect example of Stockholm syndrome, which leads everything to be more strange than ever. A great proof of how twisted "love" can be. I didn't talkabout the yuri part because this plot could fit in any type of romance manga (maybe it's more easy to find it in BL according to some comments I've read, but I don't really know).

I recommend you this manga if you are interested in realism and something beyond the soft and cliché romance story. This, as I said, shows the real face of toxicity, as well what happens through the mind of an abuser and the consequences that their actions causes in the victim (in this case, the most extreme). Obviously, if you are sensible to these topics, try to avoid this manga.

Talking about the art, I really like it and that was the main reason of why I started reading it, though I knew it was about toxicity. The characters designs are great and color covers are beautiful.

Lastly, as I said, there is no many stories who delves into toxic and unhealthy relationships of highschool girls. So that's why I think this is a worthwile experience.

At the moment of this review, I'm in chapter 17. Hoping for more to come.

Written after reading the first 21 chapters (up to date). First, push on if you're at the first half of the manga, and you don't hate it as much as not getting the point of the plot. I've felt that way but now the plot is getting more intense and "interesting," in a sense. I'd have given a 5/10 if I dropped after the first few chapters. What Airi and Hina have between them may seem like love to them (only to Hina I guess), but it'll never come across that way to most of us readers; we just see cruelty. And everything does get much more fckedup as more and more people involve later on.

Somewhere between Chapter 15 and 20 is a good place to want to stand up and ponder why someone would write something like this.

I surely was more confused than a blindfolded drunk, and did my portion of thinking. So let's talk about this!

Now, I must say calling this "Yuri" (as a work of Romance) is a bit of a misclassification.

A normal Romance always wants to resolve itself into love: starts with some encounter, then conflicts ensue, and in the end all resolves into either a fruiting love (happy ending) or a past love (sad ending).

This one is, intentionally, neither. Almost everyone is just as pathological as the 2 mains, and when they don't actively hurt Airi and Hina they create more damage passively too.

In the end, the story is devoid of love, kindness, or warmness, and it doesn't seem like it'll be made up in the later plot either. I don't see any of the character getting "rescued" and it'd be quite a surprise if the author pull off one.

In fact I keep thinking that everyone is so broken and twisted, it's almost funny, and it gives a sense of detachment from reality to the story. That does make the story less real, but it helps.

Because my understanding is you're not supposed to attach to any of the characters, and if the story feels a bit unreal, it helps in that regard. Instead, you're supposed to enjoy the thrill of how everyone uses their malice, or just genuine disregard of others, to send these two into a downward spiral.

How Ichika seems supportive for Airi but actually just wants to ________.

How Hina accidentally admitted ______ by ______ but is intentional and it's a part of her plan.

Think of this as a psychological horror work of some sort, with a side of kinkiness, if you will.

tl;dr: you're supposed to get some high from the tortures in the story, not to have a feeling for any of these people.

It'd be quite difficult to go that far, but it is possible to like the story for the story itself.

The aesthetic of the shadow- I Love Your Cruddy explanation Such a concept called “beauty” didn’t exist inside the object itself. Instead, this concept exists in the shadows and lights born the gap between the objects. -” In Praise of the Shadows” Tanizaki Jun'ichirō didn’t just create his own theory to praise the handicraft in Japan. As a novelist, he actually tries to build the aesthetic of the “shadows” in the literature. In his case, he is famous for writing the special fetishes of humans and depicting the dirt or something we usually viewed as “disgusting”. Aside from that, he also usesthe idea to refer to the “atmosphere” of darkness and the rather negative side of the story. The aesthetic of the shadows thus is a concept more than the direct interpretation of words, it is more like a “metaphor”.

When we look back at the artwork of Manio (まにお) nowadays, one may be shocked by her attempt of saying “cruddy” is something to be “loved”. However, the depiction of “cruddy” with the purposely beautiful and detailed art style already revealed the intention of the author is not just to reverse the common value system of the idea called beauty. Just like Jun'ichirō, one thing she presents with her series is exactly the aesthetic of the shadows, which includes nearly all the ideas different from the light or “clean”. Furthermore, the “cruddy” in the title is more than a straightforward depiction of sadism and masochism.

Then, let’s try to look into the theory from Tanizaki. Just like how he noticed, a single object can’t create shadows. Its appearance requires the presentation of the “other”, which may as well be taken as the other “concept”. For example, the concept of the “environment” is a necessary factor to set off the background of the object to let it project its shadows on it. Starting from the point of “presenting the ‘other’ “ in the concept of the shadows, I will say the “atmosphere” in a story is where the idea lies. The reason is that the “atmosphere” in a story is created by the interaction between at least two concepts. One example is the main character presents a sense of loneliness by walking in nature without the accompany of others. But in general cases, “atmosphere” is the interaction between characters and the direction of the story.

Then, this concept serves the function of explaining the core topic of the series I Love Your Cruddy (きたない君がいちばんかわいい), which I believe is the aesthetic of the shadows, and the special relationship between Airi and Hina is where Manio shows this theory. Sadism and masochism are not the actual focus of the aesthetic theory in the series, but they are not just meant to be the tool to hunt for novelty either. As I claim, the “shadows” in the relationship between Airi and Hina stemmed from their “preference” for “what is valuable" and the “gap” appeared from the difference. The existence of brutality in the series is then heavily associated with this point I raised.

Creation of the inevitable doom- from ontological to ethical

One thing people are often mistaken about in the series I Love Your Cruddy is the fundamental reason that leads to the shocking end of Airi and Hina dying and having their corpses buried by the heavy snow. Some people would try to connect this ending with the “immoral” aspect of their relationship. However, the inner monologue of Hina before she killed Airi in the finale says something different. That very monologue has the function of revealing the “reason” for the ending, and it’s just related to the issues of emotional aspect rather than pointing at the “SM” relationship as the direct cause.

In addition to that, the attitude of how the two main characters treat this physical relationship shows the truth that they think it is “acceptable”, this relationship only stopped after being “exposed”, which hinted the idea that it will continue if nothing happened. This didn’t mean the author shows her disapproval of Airi and Hina. Instead, by constructing the character that exposed them as someone who is selfish and showing “discrimination” to people she can’t understand, the author is actually telling the message that the problem is on those who think they have the right to “correct” the living way of others. As one of Hina’s friends said, the action of exposing people is no different from bullying.

According to the narrative, the external aspect of their relationship is thus unrelated to the ending. The problem then moves to the “structure” of the story. Their behavior of torturing and being tortured is not enough to completely match the extent of distress of their inner world. To make it clearer, the heavy focus on the SM's actions in the story couldn’t fully express how Airi and Hina felt. And doing that type of action is not their motivation for doing it either. From the beginning, they are searching for the thing they couldn’t get from each other, the relationship of the SM is just their attempt to search for the unreachable but not the building up toward the ending, the reason that ending happened lies in their character trait itself.

Basically, the way how Airi and Hina existed as a character can be labeled as ontological and ethical respectively. One thing that needs to pay attention to here is my usage of these two terms is different from the common definition. My usage of these two terms takes reference from Karatani Kojin. He used “ontological” and “ethical” to refer to the “self” that couldn’t be objectified and the self that can be objectified in the social aspect of connecting with the “other”. After clarifying the different “self”, Karatani further relates this concept with the mental “hardships” faced by the characters. In his term, “ontological” means the character has a problem with how they themselves exist as a human. As for the “ethical” problem, Karatani means the distress or just negative emotions that happened in the efforts of building a connection with others.

In my own usage in the article, I transform a little part of how Karatani used the term. I used “ontological” and “ethical’ to refer to the perspective of the “values” of each character. “Ontological” means the character only values themselves, while “ethical" means the values of the character lie on the “other”. With this definition, I would say Airi is the “ontological” type of character. Despite being heavily influenced by others and ruining her own life, I would say she only “values” herself throughout the entire story.

“Values” is a movement to consider something as valuable, which is different from “care”. If I said Airi didn’t “care” about others, every reader can easily refute my point with how much she cares about her social image, and the danger of breaking it can even make her feel like vomit in chapter 10. So, I would say she only “values” the thing related to herself. She shows this in two aspects. The first aspect is her “genuine feeling” toward her seemly popular social life.

On the sixth page of chapter 8, Airi reveals with her inner monologue that “the time like this is painful” to say playing her role of socializing with others is extremely boring, this part shows that she didn’t communicate with others for the recognition of fulfill the emotional need of having a social life, she just used it to entertain herself. To put it simply, the values of social life for Airi are not about satisfying her demands of contacting others but just to let her “have fun”. This perspective makes her different from the common character writing of putting her own value on others for emotional acknowledgment and support. For her, “other” never enters her eyesight aside from being the tool of entertainment.

Another part that shows this trait of Airi is in the side story of the third volume in the hard copy version. Back in the timepoint when Airi started the SM relationship with Hina, she was asked why she didn’t interact with Hina in class, and she said “Because being with that group is profitable for me”. This further correlates with the point that Airi never desires others with the emotional requirement. While she presents herself as extremely outgoing, the actual distance of her heart from others rather reveals she is the most “detached” one.

Another aspect of Airi being the “ontological” character is how she treats her relationship with Hina. At the very least, we can say Hina is the most important person to her in this story. However, there’s not really any actual “emotional connection” between them. Airi went through multiple states of transformation in the series, but the distance of her heart from people didn’t change in any of it. As she admits in Chapter 2, she chooses Hina because she can gain many good comments by having Hina around her. And Hina is valuable because she will let her do anything on her body. But after Hina already became clingy to her, the instinctive reaction of Airi is “discard the relationship”. From the perspective of others, this may seem like she realized her “fault” for abusing people and decided to stop. But in the aspect of interpersonal relationship, this attitude of cutting off the relationship shows that Airi never really care about emotional attachment of Hina towards her, and of course, she herself has none.

Even after turning into the one that got dominated, Airi never changed her perspective of Hina as someone that can be “of use”. After she quit school for fearing criticism from other students, Hina often visits her home to take care of her. Chapters 16 and 17 show that Airi surrendered to the relationship and let Hina dominate her everything, but one needs to notice that her reliance on Hina is to “escape from the troublesome thoughts”, as she said in chapter 18. So, cooperating with Hina and accepting her orders are just for Airi to free herself from the thoughts that were troubled her.

In conclusion, the eyesight of Airi never includes “other” as a person. The value of others is to profit herself, so basically Airi only values herself. With the meaning of “ontological”, the only thing Airi cares about is how she exists. Her hardships are rooted in the way she exists. Just like how she is being selfish relates to her existence of being emotionally detached from others.

On the side of Hina, she is the type of “ethical” character, even though “ethics” didn’t really correlate with her image. Just remember the usage is different. By defining her as “ethical", I am referring to the idea that she only “values” the connection with others. However, one may say she looks extremely detached in her class, And she also constantly reveals in the series that she didn’t really care how others viewed her. One then needs to realize that before everything, she has the most important relationship to make her ignore the whole world, which is the connection with Airi.

The perspective of Hina on interpersonal relationships is totally different from Airi, and she also demonstrates such a concept with two aspects. The first aspect is the motivation of accepting the abuse from Airi. Humans basically have the tendency of protecting themselves, but Airi hurting her constantly didn’t stop Hina from loving her. It’s fine to say she is just enjoying the sadism and masochism relationship. But it’s also necessary to know the fundamental reason for her to agree with all of these. Again in the side story of volume 3. After Hina feels the emotion of extreme distress for Airi seems to have forgotten the promise to stay by her side, she comes to the phase of acceptance for that Airi tells her they can still have the “most special” time together.

According to the words that make her accept the torture, it can be inferred that Hina desires to become the “special one” to Airi. Calling back to Chapter 2, the way how Hina persuades herself to calm down is also “Don’t worry, I am her most special one". It’s undeniable that her view of Airi does include a certain extent of self-interest, but the decisive difference between her from Airi is that her desire is to be “loved by the other”. In this “value”, the other is not just a tool for profits herself, she needs “the other as a subject to love her”, so that is why she cares so much about the way Airi views her. With the presumption that being tortured is equal to the expression of Airi’s love, Hina managed to accept nearly everything she did to her. In short, her “value” includes the complete presentation of the “other”. If we combined it with the fact that she didn’t try to protect herself from the strangling of Airi in chapter 16, we may also say she values the “ethical” aspect of having a relationship with others more than her own life. The other aspect of Hina is to think of others before herself. She has a clear awareness of what might be dangerous, the readers can see that in her inner monologue when she got abused.

Despite knowing it's dangerous for herself, Hina still agrees to follow the will of Airi and even accompanies her on the trip of self-destruction. Such attitude is all because she values the relationship with Airi more than herself. But again, the important thing is Hina needs Airi to “loves her back”, she didn’t say she doesn’t need anything payment for her sacrifice.

To sum up the character of Hina, I will say her “ethical” side of character makes her follow the route of destructing herself. And the mental hardships or negative emotions she went through are all about how Airi treats her but not her existence.

Recovering the connection and things that were in vain

The characters of Airi and Hina hide a sense of irony if we try to compare their depiction. In the case of Airi, she needs the external aspect of others while she didn’t have any “other” in her inner world. As for Hina, she didn’t need any others from the external aspect but desired a specific other the most in her inner world. Both of them derived a bit from human nature. In the case of Airi, her emotional detachment didn’t mean she can live without having an emotional connection with others, this is where the abuse comes in. Based on her analysis, we can infer that it’s impossible for her to “feel” the connection of others in a positive way since her only value is herself. But also stem from valuing herself, the “connection” for her may still be necessary. As Yasunari Kawabata presents in his novel Thousand Cranes, there is another way:

Maybe it’s right. The ones you are more familiar with, the ones you are in love with, it’s hard to remember their faces. As for objects with an uglier appearance, maybe it’s easier to have a clear impression of them and leave it in the memory.

Just like how Tanizaki presents his theory of the “shadow”, Yasunari Kawabata didn’t put these lines in his work for just the metaphorical reason. He indeed has a point. When we are close to someone, we would have a clear impression of them, but the image will gradually lose its framework once the relationship is getting closer. In an extremely close relationship, the interaction didn’t require one to fully recognize the other, for communication already became natural and things just get done with basically the tacit agreement. But when the other is ugly (here I used the broad usage, so just take “ugly” as “unpleasant to you”), one can see its full picture because we are at a distance. Or we can say that unpleasant memories are easier to remember because it’s something with heterogeneity from our daily life. We have a standard of “what is acceptable”. This standard didn’t necessarily mean positive, it’s just we are okay with its existence, so it won’t have any impression. Compared with it, unpleasant memories with heterogeneity is not easy to forget because we don’t have that experience in daily life.

In short, leaving unpleasant memories is a way to let others remember you. At this point, the torture from Airi finally has a meaning. Because she’s unable to resonate with the memorial aspect of people, she needs to recover her connection with others on a different dimension of the mental field, which is the memorial aspect. The same goes for Hina.

In the end, the relationship between Airi and Hina matches the aesthetic of the shadows by showing the depth of things in vain. As I said at the beginning of the article, their characters already decide the very ending. Why? Because Airi doesn’t have the ability to treasure anything aside from herself, she won’t be able to respond to the love of Hina. No matter how many sacrifices Hina made, it’s impossible that Airi will love her back. Thus, everything she did for Airi was in vain. In order to actively form a “meaning” for herself, her only choice is to finally let Airi puts her in the heart by killing her, she did succeed.

The aesthetic of the shadows lies in the relationship between characters in the fictional works. The story I Love Your Cruddy (きたない君がいちばんかわいい) is one example. The series didn’t just show pure gore and brutality in their relationship. Instead, Airi and Hina are the perfect contractions in both the value system and the perspective of the world.

The series surely covers by the shadow, but this shadow is not the shallow violence that most people can only see in it. Instead, the shadow tells you that there is indeed a thing that human power can reach themselves, the genuine feelings of the human heart. Surprisingly, this again proves the theory of shadows is “a theory that needs the presence of the ‘other’”. This series conveyed such a message with the story. It’s beautiful but with depth.

Work Cited

1. I Love Your Cruddy (きたない君がいちばんかわいい). まにお.

2. In Praise of Shadows. Tanizaki Jun'ichirō.

3. 定本 柄谷行人文学論集. 柄谷行人.

4. Thousand Cranes. Yasunari Kawabata.

You can never enjoy a manga like this, but the story is unquestionably unique so I can give it props for originality but if you can't stomach physical and mental abuse or psychological torture then don't even give this manga the chance because you're going to hate it. But if you're open minded and willing to separate your personal emotions from lots of abuse that takes place in this manga, then it will be a great read about abusive relationships. This story follows the relationship between 2 high schoolers Hina and Airi aka Ai-chan, former childhood best friends who seem to not be as close nowthat they're in high school. The story starts off innocent, the 2 girls are in different friend groups but are aware of each other, either catching glimpses of one another or innocently touching when no-one is looking. Later you find out the 2 girls were still close actually a lot more closer than the reader and everyone around them thought they were. They were secretly in a sadistic relationship where Airi seem to derive pleasure and sexual gratification from humiliating and inflicting pain on Hina and Hina not wanting to be apart from Airi allows her to do as she pleases but what Airi later fails to see was she was grooming Hina into enjoying it so begins this abusive relationship.

At first you're lead to believe Hina was a masochist but things arent what they seem like at first in this manga. Even though Hina secretly seems to want it or enjoys the suffering/humiliation being inflicted on her it's actually simply comes down to the fact that she's in love and is afraid if she rejects Airi's advances Airi will reject/ignore her. There's a lot of kinks and sexual scenes in this manga so if that's not your thing don't read it(I make it sound like I'm into it lol..) if you take out the sexual aspects of airi and hina's relationship it all comes down to a depiction of an abusive relationship which is very real and in relationships like these the one being abused or bullied grows to like or enjoy it and sees it as love or the abuser's way of showing love. hina sees airi's abuse as love/care because airi mixes in the suffering/humiliation with care like making her food, babying her, giving her one on one time, showing her attention and a side she doesn't show even her closest friends. Airi also continued to abuse her because hina allowed her to, that's always the case with abusive relationships the abuser doesn't think they did anything wrong because the victim or their partner lets them do it (**most of the time**) so when they're called out or caught they don't think they were in the wrong because the one they were abusing didn't reject it. What Airi fails to see later was she was teaching and psychologically changing Hina into an sadist abuser like her. Later on the script changes where Hina gains the power and dominance in their relationship and she basically does what she's been groomed to do by Airi back to Airi, she thinks its love so Airi later is stuck in a fucked up world of her own creation.

The art is amazing, I only wish this was a josei or included mature/older characters but seeing this from high schoolers perspective is a refreshing change.

Love can be horrifying. We humans can be horrifying. What’s most horrifying is when we humans start to feel love. Many of us have been in love or at least know what being in love feels like, but what if I were to say that this manga showed me a new perspective to look at love? One that is so terrorizing that you’ll find yourself clutching your chest after finishing this Manga. Kitani is essentially a psychological manga that makes use of several themes to showcase the events that take place in the lives of two students -Ai and Hina- who are the protagonists andthe centre of this story. The manga is psychologically disturbing, but it is also emotionally painful and heart-wrenching. Reading this, one may easily lose their sense of right and wrong because what’s even wrong when it’s all for love? Is love wrong? Is there a right way of love? Who decides what’s the right way? What if I don’t follow the right way? What are the other options left?

The final resting place of love is when you’re at peace with yourself and to achieve this peace…find out by reading this short manga which is only 31 chapters, the art is gorgeous and the dialogues are easy yet meaningful to let you have a satisfying reading experience!

There are people that feel that any media that makes them feel bad is automatically bad. "It gave me bad feelings, therefor it sucks". I'm not one of them. This story is about broken people, unhealthy relationships, and the twisted drama that arises between emotionally immature and codependent high schoolers. There were several moments that stuck with me and the ending was apt for what had transpired. The art is pretty good, not anything amazing but it does capture the torment the characters go through. None of the characters are role-models in the slightest. One of the characters, Ai, could have used more backstory toexplain how she became the way she is, but the reader will understand that this person starts off as a lonely girl. What I really enjoyed in this story was the conflict in the characters' emotions, that inner torment. I recommend this for people that can enjoy a twisted drama.

Going into this saying that I've recently read this manga, and felt the need to give it a review while I have a fresh feel for it. To start I think the manga is well written. Some things may be Disturbing or uncomfortable but I think the mangaka portrays it in a interesting way. I normally don't read many mangas where it goes into stuff like abuse or other things of that nature. That being said I went into this story with a open mind and I think others should too, even if this is not your favorite topic or genre. This manga portrays sadism, masochism,abuse and self harm in ways that make your stomach turn. Throughout reading this I would say I could only count 2 times when i felt pleased and thought things were looking better. I Think anyone who gives this manga a chance will experience complex emotions from reading this manga like I did.

In all I gave this Manga a 8/10 and recommend it to most readers even if you don't read yuri or mangas that are disturbing.

Wow this shit is GOOD, now I am pretty insane so maybe my opinion on a manga like THIS isnt the best one, but wow i like this. Not even in a "Woah its disgusting but its well written" kinda way, I mean that I love this manga in the way that I envy the characters, I envy what they go through and i relate to them. Am i crazy for feeling like this? Oh 100%. however, I find this manga extremely hot and nothing will change my opinion on this The main characters are absolute sadists, and there's no better title for it, they act batshitcrazy to eachother and do absolutely VILE and sometimes borderline illegal things. HOWEVER, even though these characters are NOT good people in any sense, they are more relatable to me than any other ive ever seen in media. This manga uncovered a lot of shit about me I didnt even know I had (Most of it pretty bad) and in that regard as well I really do have to thank it for all of this.

In summary:

10/10

most people found it gross but I found it hot

Cheers

-Lisa

It was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Terribly tragic, but beautiful all the same. Every character in the series was so believable. Two many eccentric people in one place and everything comes crashing down. Everything about this manga was perfect, which is as I say in all my reviews, just bare minimum. None of the characters behave out of character, there's no plot holes, and the narrative is consistent in its themes, motifs, and meaning. I would've preferred if this stayed as just us going through Airi and Hina's daily life. It would've been a much more enjoyable manga, but I think that the direction it wentit made perfect sense and was reasonable. My favorite parts are two things. First is that the irrational behavior that our heroines engage in is established to be within their character long before they actually start acting that way. Second is that Hina is never shown to actually enjoy what happens to her inherently. Masochism in anime is often portrayed as some perverted desire which is inherent to the person. Hina is portrayed distinctly as a person who simply wants the attention more than she dislikes being abused. That makes their relationship feel realistic and adds to their chemistry.

PS: there are only 26 chapters. The rest are subchapters.

First you must be wondering why have I read 25 chapters... Quick answer: Hoping it would get better. Yuri + Hope. And fooled by people saying we would regret dropping this. As a veteran, I am ashamed of myself for being fooled like that. But after this review I am done for with this manga. [FEW SPOILERS OR INDIRECT SPOILERS AHEAD] - There is actually NO story. The relationships were already all there. This manga is all about girls making other girls suffer for fun (in a negative way), being it consented or not. That includes physical and psychological pain and abuse. From randomly piercing yourbelly to vomiting. Every opportunity is to make it get worse, literally.

- Expect twisted / toxic relationships. From best lovely friends to "I hope you dissapear".

- One of those mangas in which just 1 out of 10 characters are actually normal and sane.

- Normal kissing and sex scenes only rarely happens because everything I said above is the meta in this manga. Either way, by this point, normal sex and intimate moments are pointless and the positive effect is close to zero.

All of this is not taken lightly or in a comedy way where you can just have fun and enjoy something with a questionable content, because this manga is done in a negative way that is no fun.

CONCLUSION: Unless you are a twisted and/or mentally unstable person yourself who might end up enjoying or ressonating with something like that, stay away from this manga full of negative energy, and hope your curiosity does not lead you to the wrong path.

Ah... I almost forgot. Art is... average at best.

I finished the manga yesterday and I have very mixed feelings about it. To be fair I have that with most "toxic yuri" titles because they consistently follow the "character x or/and character y dies, what a tragic ending!" formular and yes the exact same is true for this one. So the start of the manga feels pretty fresh, the set up might be a little weird at first but it's definitely interesting. The psychological stuff in general is very interesting and more realistic than in other manga. I also really really like the complete 180 the story suddenly took. It gets really really goodafter the first ten chapters, the psychological aspects, the toxic relationship and somehow the two main characters are likeable enough that despite their messed up relationship you want them to be happy. And as usualy that's where the ending fumbles it.

Without spoilering too much, they both die. It's extra unfortunate because shortly before the ending comes there is a little flashback that shows the couple attending a new school together and getting a "happy ending". At least I interpreted that as an ending at first before the actual one came a chapter later. As you might have noticed I am not a big fan of the "tragic ending" death but if it's to your liking then I would reccomend reading this one.

Trigger warnings for vomit, blood, angst, severe depression and suicide.

Final note: Would have been 8-9/10 for it's realistic depictions of a toxic relationship that came out of obsessive love and not from spite. Whith the fumbled ending unfortunately it's only a 6/10.

I wish yuri readers even if it's toxic yuri could be happy.

I went into this manga fully aware that it would likely be “toxic yuri.” What I did not expect was that it would go far beyond that, into continuous emotional and physical abuse without any form of meaningful reflection or consequence. Toxic yuri usually explores unhealthy dynamics while acknowledging them as such. In this manga, those dynamics are neither examined nor criticized, they are presented, escalated, and ultimately normalized. Kitanai Kimi ga Ichiban Kawaii heavily focuses on sadism, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and fetish content. What it lacks, however, is an actual narrative structure. There is no clear story progression, only a sequence of increasingly extreme situationsdriven by characters making irrational decisions solely to enable the next scene.

The manga’s biggest issue is not that it is dark, disturbing, or uncomfortable. The issue is that it is dark without purpose. There is no thematic reflection, no commentary, and no lasting consequences. Events happen not because they are narratively justified, but because every character behaves in an exaggerated, unrealistic manner. If even one character acted like a normal human being, the entire plot would collapse.

The “Girls Love” tag feels especially misplaced. What is depicted here is not love in any form, but emotional dependence and abuse. Such themes can work if the story critically engages with them. This manga does not. Instead, these dynamics are sexualized and, at times, romanticized.

Character development is nonexistent. The main characters do not grow, reflect, or change in a meaningful way. The only progression shown is the collapse of their mental health. Side characters who could provide contrast are quickly sidelined, again because their presence would disrupt the intended escalation.

Which makes it hard to feel invested in any of the characters. They are neither likable nor written in a way that encourages empathy, as the story never allows them to confront or understand their actions.

This Manga is a fetish show, not anything else.

If you want something disturbing, without consequences and like force feeding, this manga is for you!

If you want good story telling and character development, stay away! read something else.

WARNING, too people who is going to read this, This is not a Normal Yuri romance, yes its psychologic horror, yes there is Yuri scenes BUT, The Theme of this Manga is totally misleading, its not just "Yuri Romance" there are other factors in which cant say, because. it will spoil the whole core of the manga but, what i can say is, is that if you have a weak stomach and a is not comfortable with BDSM (search it up) then this is NOT FOR YOU. My Review: To be honest its a great story, it shows the life of 2 Girls doing messed up thingstoo just doing doing radical, messed up fetishes which am not going to say. its totally a experience that i can't get out of my head.

ts very fvkced up, like no jokes its super frked, i was reading this and i cant stop thinking how messed up it is. But The Characters and Art, were amazing. truly. the Theme ruins the whole Cutesy vibe for me and in some scenes leave me speechless, its a manga that will make you want to finish it, if you stop reading around chapter 7, i gurentee you that you wont be able to resist the urge to read more, because i tried so hard to give myself a break reading this, but i couldnt because it was so damm good at making you want to read more.

Overall - 8

I wish i could give it a higher scoring but with how i feel about the ending it makes me want to cuddle up into a ball and cry my heart out, reflect what i just witness, and just be an empty shell for days.

Thats gonna be my review i hope you atleast get the gist of what am saying

if your going to read this, i suggest you get a friend ready to talk too about this, its a heavy read

This manga is interesting… It ended quite abruptly but it’s a fine thing, this manga really stretches its legs on psychological and “romance”. Everyone is fucked up no one is in the right, you want to see someone used as a toy, exposed their life ruined, running away, then death. Read this if you find that synopsis catching. Uh to fill thee word limit, the style is interesting, on manga dex you’ll see it has the suggestive tag, if you only want to see tits during that last few chapters they become a bit more prevalent. To continue to fill the limit, this manga is really uniquein its genre, never really see yuri, psychological, romance in the same tags so it’s very unique that way